It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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