Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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