Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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