were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We just shotgunned beers for America
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
