Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Oh god it's open bar.
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