dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
