so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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