I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
