after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
