Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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