are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
