Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
