Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
