After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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