Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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