I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
