next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
