You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
