this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
