Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
