i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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