Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
