Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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