you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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