is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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