Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
