he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
