there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
