I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
