ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
