The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
