Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
