I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
