He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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