as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
