so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
