just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
