brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If i come over, it means nothing
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
