nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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