our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
