My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I intend to get homeless drunk
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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