i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
