He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
