Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
