Tell her she can't have a vagina
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Of course I have a pirate flag
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
