there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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