I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Randomize
