If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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