That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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