Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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