At least make sure they are 18
Why
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
