google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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