Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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