Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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