My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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