im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
