remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
