I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
