Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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