You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
