I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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