I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
