So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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