If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
