Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
