If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
