yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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