Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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