May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
