so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize