Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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