I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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