Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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