I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
