I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this just has baby written all over it
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
