They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
